"My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, 
	 "How about Tuesday?" 
	-- Buddy Hackett 
	
	Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it 
	doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day. 
	-- Mickey Rooney 
	
	 I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for 
	 marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry. 
	-- Rita Rudner 
	
	Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with 
	friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the 
	other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that. 
	-- Anonymous 
	
	My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. 
	-- Rodney Dangerfield 
	
	Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat 
	in Europe. 
	-- Jackie Mason 
	
	Marriage can be viewed as the waiting room for death. 
	-- Mike Myers 
	
	A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband. 
	-- Michel de Montaigne 
	
	After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; 
	they just can't face each other, but still they stay together. 
	-- Hemant Joshi 
	
	Marriage is a three ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring, 
	and suffering. 
	-- Anonymous 
	
	"My wife said to me, "I want to be cremated." I said, "How 
	about Tuesday?" 
	-- Buddy Hackett 
	
	
	"When a man steals your wife there is no better revenge than 
	to let him keep her." - Sacha Guitry. 
	
	"Behind every successful man is a woman, behind her is his 
	wife." - Groucho Marx.

	I've often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get 
	my wife to go swimming. 
	-- Jimmy Carter